Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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