I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
