Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
