How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
two words...techno handjob
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
