he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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