He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
