Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
