The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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