did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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