do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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