Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
