Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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