They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
