just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I'm really busy with my period
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