i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
