I faked an abortion last night.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
