One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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