I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
