Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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