p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
