Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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