I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
