I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
