Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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