alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i barfeds in our rink
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Boobs are out for the taking
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
