True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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