Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I've blown a few things in my day
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
