I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
bring money and cleavage
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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