I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize