Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize