I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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