I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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