Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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