Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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