3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
It's just like the Real World with babies
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
