Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
