is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
