I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize