We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I'm really busy with my period
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