i permit you to call me
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
