just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
