Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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