last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
