how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize