I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
