I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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