I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
