okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
