I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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