I don't think brook has ever known best
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
