I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
