hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
