I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
