And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
