Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I supernannyed him into submission
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
