I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize