She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
