So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think I won the penis lottery.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
