I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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