Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
