Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
