8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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